Lying on my queen size bed
Staring at my bedroom ceiling
I wonder suddenly my destiny of love

Painting an everlasting love story
from every novel and movies
But reality contradicts mostly
I wonder the real definition of love

Going through thick and thin till old
Walking by the beach side by side
Holding each other hands tightly
Unwilling to let go
Never look back
I wonder the definition of forever

As time passes by
the meaning of love change
the direction of love change
the casts in your love change
I wonder the definition of time

Loneliness struck me
On my bed i fell asleep
Still not knowing the definition of love

Did we fail to portray a better image of Malay/Muslim?

Just heard from my good friend today that she says her friend lost some amount of cash for inviting guest that really gave below market value. Fancy giving $20 for 2 person in The Fullerton!!!

My immediate question to her is : Are they Malay?
She hesitate for a while and reply : Yes...

Being a malay/muslim myself, am i in a better position to criticize my own race even though i am what they called half-blooded malay???

Definitely not.... Nobody is in a position to criticize one another but there should be some discussion on this...

Myth No.1 - They do not know the market rate because Malay usually held wedding at void deck with just buffet lunch. Fact: People should know the market rate of hotel. Even if they don't know, they can open their mouth and ask around.

Myth No.2 - Malays are unable to climb because we are minority. Fact: Do not expect other race to respect you until you make the change and prove to them.

Myth No.3 - Malays status are increasing especially when many live in bigger houses and car. Fact: True for some. But mostly, they are just not planning. I have seen many people buying condo but ended up selling because it is strain to them. Even with cars. They just want to show to people that they can afford!

Myth No.4 - Being a Muslim hinders their life especially with the phobia of being labelled as terrorist. That's why some Muslim themselves are trying to portray "Moderate Muslim". Fact: Not knowing fully the meaning and practice of Muslim is a major issue. Our last prophet pbuh is illiterate but reputable. Until now, Europeans voted him the best leader. Why? Because he shows the real way of leading Muslim life which is live within your means and spare a thoughts for others.

soo with all the above excuses, do i think that we fail in portraying a better image of Malay/Muslim? Yes is the answer....

Soo long as we are unable to portray what a Muslim should portray, then we are a failure to portray a better image of Malay. Malay is just a race. The thing that can change people is the religion.....

Having dinner with my colleague.... I always luv gathering but i got phobia of such gathering here.....

Reason No. 1 - First dish is always the infamous Lechon (their version of suckling pig).... Being an only Muslim, it is extremely difficult that i have to suit their culture in the expense of my discomfort...

Reason No. 2 - I have tendency of leaving the scene earlier which left discomfort to my colleagues... But no choice leh... I am on the verge of puking

Reason No. 3 - Subsequent dishes are mainly meat - chicken, beef etc... Doesn't matter that it will not be halal since i don't eat meat at all....

Welll..... by the 9th month staying in Cebu, i should be used to it..... Ok lah.... but i suffer from headache and discomfort for the rest of the night.... and soul-searching my devotion of being a Muslim and the definition of 'Moderate Muslim' which seems to be a topic these days...... whatever.....

In a distance
I saw human passing by one another
With different tasks and goals
To whom should we pour our sorrows and happiness

In a distance
I realise that human are
ever demanding
ever discontented
more often wishing for more than are given

In a distance
I realise that human forget that
the world is just like a train interchange
where we board on the train the moment we are born
where we ride on the train the moment we start breathing
where we got off the train the moment we reach our destination

In a distance
I realise that our individual life is just an invincible dot in the universe
where human protect it soo much that
causes unhappiness
causes war and pain
causes uncertainty

In a distance
I realise that human
will never realise

Hmmm.... Feeling a bit down today.... Just trying to write something that makes me feel better.....

It's MF birthday... Never got excited when comes to friends b'day..... Maybe things really change when you are stationed overseas.... You tend to appreciate more your group of friends and your family members even though you feel like wringing their neck when they really gets on your nerve....

Welll.... that's life... always and forever take things for granted....

So at least i gotta talk nonsense with my friends in VP during my short trip back..... at times, i wish that i am still handling Varsity Park as it is my baby.... never mind, it's just a job....

New Era

Just attended my cousin's wedding over the weekend.... In every event, there are bound to have some negatives comments or remarks... so this is definitely no exception...

Time have changed.... Malays are well known for their 'Gotong Royong' meaning helping out.... Traditionally, almost every member in the family gotta help out in the wedding preparation right down to peeling onions, cutting cakes, etc....

I luv to do that coz it shows the bonding of malays and relatives..... and by the way, how often do we get to have such gathering these days especially when people are even lazy to do Kenduri (Feasting)....however, i do not see that in our younger generation (which makes me super old)..... they are not pro-active and needed lots of nagging to help out.. some guys hate to wash the dishes coz it is a dirty job and they do not want to get wet... which i feel like saying : "What's the big problem of getting wet??"

Is it part of modernization?? What is the definition of modernization? Does it mean losing our roots and adapt to western practice?? Of coz, some traditions gotta be remove if it clash with Islamic way of life.... but helping out is part of Islamic way of life isnt it??

Or is it that our younger generations are too pampered with all the maids attending to their daily needs and their perception of 'Money Talks'?? No wonder the government once commented they need volunteers.....

Tapi i cakap aje.... i have never tried being a volunteer coz it needs lots of patience and endless time.... which i have not reach to that level..

Anyway, wish my cousin all the best with his new family.....

First time writing a blog

I have been thinking for months on writing a blog but never quite made it..... Not becoz i'm busy but i don't know what to write....

I have an advice from someone that a blog is just writing what u think or feel.... Easy for him since he is an expressive guy and he is a damn good writer..... But i have decided to take his advice to give it a try..... No harm since there is no $$$ involve..... hahaha

First is introduction.....

Important people in my life : My parents - 70% go to my mum and 15% go to my poor daddy and the balance is to my rascal nephews

Age : 27....but coming 28 this december

Best friends : Since i am quite an anti-social person, i have only a few good friends..... Suraiya (since my sec life), lydia (since my first job and lucky for me, she still is....), sharon also (though i'm not that close to her), sri (my married fren who resides in batam...), lily (my hidden senior in my first job)..... and lots more from Varsity Park (the project i handled before i am posted to Cebu)....ohhh and cheryl (the person who make me super interested in financial)

Hobby : Shopping with non-fickle minded people, travelling with boh-chap people, attending religious classes with my mum and the golden aunties, sleeping... counting $$$, planning my assets (as if i have millions to count).....

Character : hmmm...sensitive issue.... it's for my best frens to write

ok...that's all for now...gotta go for meeting....